July 1, 2005

GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE 11

Play ball!

Celebrities and at least one total disaster line up for Bat 'n' Rouge

by Kaizaad Kotwal

Columbus-It was a Who's Who of Hollywood's hottest and its washed-up all in

one.

Cher was there, a few pounds worse for the wear. Other zaftig celebrities included Kirstie Ally and Star Jones-Reynolds. Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie came together, obviously having kissed and made up after their recent public cat fight. Frank N. Furter and Magenta graced the occasion with their Rocky Horror fame intact.

Those were just some of the notables who showed up to play in the 18th annual Bat 'n' Rouge drag softball game as part of the closing day of Columbus Pride celebrations.

The Columbus Lesbian and Gay Softball League, in its 20th year, held its annual fundraiser of the year on Sunday, June 26 on the grounds of the Africentric School in the German Village area of downtown Columbus.

Players hit and ran in sweltering mid-90s heat wearing heavy make-up, hot wigs, fabulous fashions and unimaginably high-heeled footwear, all to benefit the league and the Columbus AIDS Task Force.

Each year, the two opposing teams are the Hygienes and the Monistats. In addition to the celebrities, this year's included Nurse Nipples, who would have made Janet Jackson's Super Bowl fiasco look like a church event by comparison, China from Worldwide Wrestling Entertainment, and Gay Sha, a fabulously adorned and made-up tea house madam.

Paris Hilton's two long-lost sisters Moscow and Warsaw Hilton also showed up.

Almost exactly six months later to the date, Sue Nami made her Columbus appearance, all the way from the Indian Ocean. Dressed in flowing blue tulle, Sue Nami's bathing suit of the same color was festooned with miniature animals, human body parts and uprooted foliage.

One difference from past years was that no drag kings participated in the game.

The event was hosted by local drag queens Sable Coates, Vivi Velure and Paige Passion. Coates is retiring from hosting this event after having done it for many years in a row. Chris Cozad of BRAVO served as the umpire.

Other highlights of this year's Pride celebrations included an art show and the fifth annual Rockin' in the Streets, produced by Union Station, Havana and Axis night clubs.

This year the two-night party shifted from behind Havana to the parking lot next to Union Station. Friday night the event was headlined by Melissa Ferrick and the Katie Reider Band.

Stonewall Columbus capped off the weekend with the Pride Brunch held at the Westin Great Southern Hotel on Sunday. Rev. Phil Hart, who is the Stonewall chaplain, was the keynote speaker.

KAIZAAD KOTWAL (2)

The Capital City Pride Band plays the national anthem before the Bat 'n' Rouge game, while Dr. Frank N. Furter prepares to swing (both ways) at the next pitch.

Curbside

THE HERO TAKES A FALLO

WHEN WE GOT TO ATOM'S CRUD-

DY OLD APARTMENT, I BARGED MY WAY IN, JUST LIKE I WAS DIRTY HARRY.

WHAT

ATOM!!

CAL CAME RUSHING OUT OF THIS OTHER ROOM, LOOKING SCARED, AND SAYING ALL THE THINGS I DIDN'T WANT TO HEAR. C'MON, ATOM, STOP IT! I TOLD YOU, THERE'S NOTHING BETWEEN NATHAN AND ME ANYMORE!!! NATHAN, YOU GOTTA GO NOW!

ATOM WAS TOTALLY READY TO GET DOWN AND DIRTY CLIKE THAT WAS A BIG SURPRISE). WHEN I LOOKED BEHIND ME FOR REINFORCEMENTS, I SAW THAT NICK RAY HAD SPLIT.

You

WELL,

"

WANNA C'MON

WITH ME?! YOU MOTHERF#

NOW WHERE'D HE GO TO??

I WAS THERE TO BE THE HERO, DAMMIT....

CAL! I..... THIS PRICK TOOK MY EYE OUT!! I'VE COME TO TAKE YOU WITH ME--DON'T BE AFRAID!

by Robert Kirby

JUST WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO TRY MY ANCIENT KUNG FU MOVES OUT ON ATOM'S BIG OLD MELON HEAD...

OH

SHIT.

WAIT

BUT THERE WERE COMPLICATIONS. LOOK YOU FO#KING GO@#!!! WHEN I'M GONNA ICE SOMEONE, I ICE EM! I DON'T TAKE THEIR EYE OUT, I TAKE THEIR LIFE OUT FOR GOOD, YOU @#@%$!!!

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